10 signs you might need support processing your birth experience
Written by Annie Dreese, MA, AMFT
While welcoming a new life should be a beautiful and empowering, awe-inspiring moment, the reality is that not all births unfold that way. Many people are left in the aftermath of a birth experience that didn't go as planned, one that left emotional wounds that take much longer to heal than the physical ones. If you're feeling like your birth story has left you grappling with emotions and memories that you can't quite handle, know that you're not alone. Here are some signs that could hint at the need for extra support after a traumatic birth. Know, that what constitutes “trauma” is subjective and is as unique as your experience.
10 signs you might need support processing your birth experience
1. Reliving your story:
Are you finding it hard to escape the playback of your birth in your head? Whether it's the middle of the day or the dead of night, if you're constantly reliving the moments, it's worth considering some help to untangle the emotional knots.
2. Escaping reminders:
If you are avoiding friends who you know will ask about your birth, if you shudder when you drive past the hospital, or you can’t stomach Instagram accounts that you previously watched with excitement, it could be an indication that your birth experience still has a hold on you.
3. Nightmares:
Those sudden, jarring flashbacks or nightmares can be downright overwhelming. If they’re coming up often and are distressing to you, it could be a sign that there's more beneath the surface that needs attention.
4. Wrestling with emotions:
It's perfectly okay to feel a surge of emotions after a challenging experience with birth – fear, anger, sadness, they're all part of the package. But if these emotions are overpowering, flooding your thoughts, and making it hard to catch your breath, seeking help is a brave step to take.
5. Struggling to bond:
The connection between you and your baby might not be instantaneous like it is in the movies… But if you're struggling to bond or care for your little one and this is upsetting to you, birth trauma may play a role.
6. Frayed relationship threads:
Trauma isn't a solitary journey; it can fray the bonds with those around you. If you're unable to convey your feelings to your partner or family, or you feel isolated in your distress, you may need some extra help to reconnect.
7. Speaking through your body:
Sometimes, trauma has a sneaky way of showing up in the form of physical symptoms – constant headaches, an uneasy stomach, or clenched muscles.
8. Guilt:
Blaming yourself for the birth gone awry is a common response, but it's not a healthy one. It’s not your fault that things didn’t go the way you wanted them to, you are not to blame.
9. Time isn’t healing all wounds:
If days turn to weeks, and you are still unable to shake some of the feelings listed above, it might be time to get some extra help.
10. You want to:
If your birth didn’t go the way you hoped or expected, you deserve to rewrite it, reframe it, and integrate it into your heart and mind in the safety of a therapeutic space.
Healing and processing birth trauma or a challenging birth in Santa Barbara:
Remember, seeking support to process a challenging birth isn't a sign of weakness; it's a declaration of your strength in acknowledging the need for support and reclaiming your birth story. Getting support from a therapist can help to process– they can provide insights, coping mechanisms, and a safe space to unravel the emotions tied to your unique birth story.
You’ve got this. We’re here to support you.
Thrive Therapy Santa Barbara offers support groups for new and expecting moms, both in person and virtually throughout the state of California. If you are pregnant or postpartum and live in Santa Barbara, reach out today.
We host in-person support groups in downtown Santa Barbara. We also offer telehealth therapy and postpartum support groups in California. These are led by a mental health therapist who has advanced training in perinatal mental health. Through community, conversations and, and a bit of courage, join in on our healing and supportive groups that will nurture your pregnancy and postpartum mental health.
Check out our current group offerings or reach out to schedule a complimentary consultation for individual therapy or group therapy in Santa Barbara. You can email us directly here: hello@thrivetherapysb.com
About Thrive Therapy
Thrive Therapy Santa Barbara is located in the heart of downtown Santa Barbara and offers in person therapy in our mountain view office and telehealth sessions throughout the state of California.
Thrive holds significant meaning for us. To thrive means: to grow through the hard things we go through. And when paired with therapy, we can’t imagine a better way to describe the heart, grit and tenacity it takes to do the brave work of looking inward, gently and kindly unlearn, heal and hold space for the lived experiences we’ve journeyed through.
At Thrive Therapy we specialize in working with pregnancy + postpartum mental health, We support pregnant and postpartum moms and non birthing parents navigating postpartum mood and anxiety disorders (PMADS). Some clients reach out to navigate birth trauma, while others notice they are experiencing postpartum anxiety, postpartum depression or are struggling to synthesize the changes they are navigating and intergrate newfound parenthood into who they are today.
We also support individuals navigating disordered eating and body image, alongside anxiety, depression, grief and trauma.
We believe that therapy should feel inviting, warm and create a container to feel comfortable to open up. Enjoy a cup of a coffee or a la croix from our fridge, make yourself comfortable on our cozy white linen couch and enjoy our fiddle plants and neutral aesthetic as you sink into the moment and engage in your session.
Check out our current group offerings or reach out to schedule a complimentary consultation for individual therapy or group therapy in Santa Barbara, California. | hello@thrivetherapysb.com