If you experienced a challenging birth or encountered unexpected difficulties in postpartum, you might feel a deep sense of grief or loss for the moments you didn’t get to experience. These losses often feel invisible; few people recognize them and you can feel isolated, confused, and unsure of how to hold space for your grief. Invisible losses aren’t easy to see, but they are deeply felt by those who carry them.

In many instances, you might not even realize you lost something until you hear another parent sharing part of their birth story or talking about their feeding journey with their baby, or if you’ve ever joined a new parent group and realized your experience feels different, and suddenly you feel a deep sense of loss that no one else recognizes.

While welcoming a new life should be a beautiful and empowering, awe-inspiring moment, the reality is that not all births unfold that way. Many people are left in the aftermath of a birth experience that didn't go as planned, one that left emotional wounds that take much longer to heal than the physical ones. If you're feeling like your birth story has left you grappling with emotions and memories that you can't quite handle, know that you're not alone. Here are some signs that could hint at the need for extra support after a traumatic birth. Know, that what constitutes “trauma” is subjective and is as unique as your experience.